Sometimes I get deeper into analysis when I see talk shows, wherein people raise their voice to win the argument. When the topic is debate please understand there are 2 versions and both must be equally be judged.
Whether you are a public figure or not, you’re always going to have to deal with people’s opinions of your work. Sometimes, it will be valid; other times, it won’t. Judge the judger, before you let their opinion get to you. Regardless of who is giving you the praise, or the criticism, you should never allow someone else’s opinion to make you sad.
Presenting some methods to get over negative emotions.
1. REALIZE THAT THEY DON’T KNOW YOU.
The biggest thing that you need to realize is they don’t know you. People criticize you all the time but they have no idea who you are, or what you do. Judge the judger who’s judging you, before you take in their comments.
2.EMPATHIZE WITH THEM.
People who leave a negative remark are equally disturbed and sad, maybe for a longer period than you feel.
Second, you have to be empathetic and feel compassion for them.
Do you understand how sad they must feel? I’m not joking, and I think people think I’m just trying to cheer you up, but I’m not joking. When people say bad about you like: you’re ugly, that’s stupid, you’re not funny, you’re dumb, that’s wrong– I don’t know how to do anything other than feel really bad for them.
3.It’s OK TO SAY A “No.
We all have confidence in some places and lack self-esteem in others. I have seen my hubby in never saying no to anyone, sometimes getting into a horrible mess out of it. I call this a GENTLEMAN SYNDROME.
A simple NO can actually save you from many problems.
Any work incomplete or any rush or stress to complete a task too attracts negativity.
If you are not completely prepared to deliver goods, it’s ok to say NO, citing the reason with confidence. This is a precautionary measure.
Anxiety for me is sitting around doing nothing. So, you have a lot of confidence in some areas and in other areas you don’t–just like every one of us.
Get comfortable with the word NO, so you’re better able to deal with rejection. People are too addicted to positive reinforcement; “you’re smart”, “you’re pretty”, “that’s awesome”. Once you believe that, you become susceptible to negative reinforcement. No matter what level of success you have, always remember that you are insignificant. That may sound harsh, but it’s actually incredibly liberating and exciting. It’s a skill you have to build, like a muscle at the gym.
4.Shift your focus
I usually shift my focus to productive things after a negative wave. It ranges from learnings, gardening. Sometimes a routine change also works wonders. That makes me realize what others are saying that I’m ugly really doesn’t mean a whole lot.
Every time I got into negativity, I searched for a learning experience, certain courses, or new modules, trust me this works magic.
That is what I exactly did whenever I got low, my degrees would really show them all. LOL.
5. Realize if you want to give them a place in your head or heart
If you forgive the person who gave negativity, he stays in your heart.
In case you don’t forgive the person and try ways to defeat him, he comfortably stays in your head.
It is up to you to decide where you want to place your negative person head or heart?
Forcing yourself into places that make you happy, has a quick effect on your mind leading to rebooting.
6.YOUR MIND IS COOKING THOUGHTS.
Yes, that’s right, your mind is cooking thoughts ie, perceptions.
These perceptions are branded according to your ideas and situations. Anything favorable to you is branded good and unfavorable is rated as bad.
Our mind has 60,000 80,000 thoughts surfing in one day. People’s perceptions change, situations change, our body cells change. However, the bottom line is due to perceptions of negativity, wars, murders, etc have taken place in history. Hence our body, head are perishable at a point in time. So why are thoughts arising from a perishable mind disturbing us? This is a spiritual way of ignoring negativities.
I don’t let compliments or criticisms bother me too much. That’s all ego. Focus on what makes you happy and what gives people value. It keeps things in perspective.
Help can come in all forms. It doesn’t always come sugar-coated and being able to step back and scoop up the bits of insight can be invaluable. Don’t copy the critique word for word as you do the positive comments (you don’t want those ingrained in your memory). Put them in your own words. Jot down what can be learned and positively applied to your future work. But remember even if it’s a kindly given critique it doesn’t mean you have to accept and make use of it. You have the final say in what you do.
How did you feel about the article, do comment and watch out for more on this issue in our series, coming up next is how are negative emotions formed? Sounds interesting please watch out this space.